Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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