In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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