She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
