No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
worst night to have a conscience
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
