i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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