If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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