If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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