i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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