So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
