Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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