i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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