I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize