And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
