Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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