shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
