I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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