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• (989): View more from Michigan

  i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook

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• (408): View more from California

  there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

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• (207): View more from Maine

  If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on

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