The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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