5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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