i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
