I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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