she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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