guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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