try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
