all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
