i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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