its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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