For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
