you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
