what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
