i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
