New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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