the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
