I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
