I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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