I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
