thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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