I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
