after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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