I cockslap morals
It's Friday. Sex?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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