Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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