dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
