Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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