she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
