fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
