It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
