I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
