dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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