my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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