U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
