WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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