that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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