I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
