So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
