Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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