I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
