It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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