I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
