we have officially lost it.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
